Physical Ownership: Appreciating one’s own physical body and its capabilities, as well as respecting others’ bodies.

How Physical Ownership relates to Gender Equity.***

In our culture, girls and women are conditioned to suppress their physical ability, and instead focus on the physical ability of boys and men. Compounding this, boys and men are conditioned to focus on boys’ and men’s physical ability, and ignore, trivialize or ridicule girls’ and women’s physical ability.

The more a girl or woman is socialized and follows sexist messages, the less she moves and the less she uses her physical body to perform challenging tasks (outside of sexual activity and/or child-rearing-related tasks). Girls and women learn to distance themselves from their own muscles and physical power.** The more they are influenced by gender stereotype, the less they will lift, push, pull, jump, run, and climb.

Boys and men are conditioned to view their own bodies as capable, and to view girls’ and women’s bodies as things that can bring them pleasure and satisfaction.

Examples of what Physical Ownership looks like in an adult.

• Someone who doesn’t divide physical tasks by gender/biological sex.
• An adult who participates in life to their fullest physical capability, and invites others to do the same.
• Someone who takes care of and develops their body with weight lifting, aerobic exercise, rest, nutrition and stress management.
• An adult who would never use someone else’s body for their own one-sided needs.
• Someone who would never consent to their body being disrespected by someone else.
• An adult who approaches life’s tasks as one who is physically capable, and will ask for another person’s help when needed.
• Someone who doesn’t use their body to hurt others.
• An adult who does the physical tasks that come with being an adult:  opening jars, mowing the lawn, moving furniture, preparing a meal, cleaning a bathroom, taking out the garbage, digging holes, etc.
• Someone who talks kindly about their body, particularly in front of any children.

Examples of how we can teach Physical Ownership to our child.

• Role model all of the above.
• Use empowering language when we describe our child’s body.  “You have a strong, healthy body.”
• Acknowledge what their bodies can do. “Your legs help you run and jump.” “You used your muscles to move that chair.”
• Explain out loud what we are doing and why. 
• “I am eating carrots because they taste good and are good for my body.” “I am eating peas, lean meat, and brown rice because I like giving my body what it needs.”
• “I finished lifting weights and I feel great.” “I’m really glad I ran 3 miles today.” “After I exercise in the morning, I feel great all day.”
• “I am going to bed early tonight because my body needs extra sleep.” “I am going to take a nap because I didn’t sleep enough last night.” “What a great night’s sleep I had; I even woke up before my alarm.”
• Look in the mirror and talk about what we like about our bodies in front of our child. “I like seeing the muscles in my arms and knowing how strong I am.” “I like that my bottom is a soft cushion for me to sit on.” “I appreciate how my feet carry my body all over the place.” “I like how my hair curls right by my ear.”
• Avoid saying negative comments about our body, such as “I’m so weak,” “I feel fat,” “I hate my thighs,” or “I’ll never get rid of this beer gut.”
• Talk about what our bodies can do. “I can lift four grocery bags at a time.” “I can squat down and then stand back up.” “I can sing loudly or quietly.” “I can tiptoe, hop, and walk on my heels.”
• Explain how we treat our bodies well. “I can give myself a hug anytime.” “It feels good to stroke my cheek.” “When I massage my neck, it feels wonderful.”
• Talk about how we use our bodies to help others. “I lifted a heavy box out of the car for our neighbor.” “I helped my friend load chairs into the van.” “I climbed a ladder to change the light bulb for Grandma and Grandpa.”
• Point out behavior by people that is counterstereotype and add related comments:  “Look at how strong she is.” “He is being so gentle with his baby.”
• Acknowledge our child’s healthy choices. “You were busy climbing and now you’re giving your body the water it needs.”
• Invite our child to join in with our healthy behaviors when appropriate.

*I am using “they/their/theirs/them/themselves” as singular pronouns.
** There are other ways that females are encouraged to separate from their bodies, one of which is their own sensual and sexual needs with a male partner.
***Physical Ownership relates to Gender Equity in more ways than are discussed here.

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