How do I handle pronouns with my young school-age child?
It’s great that you want to address pronoun use with your child. Here is a sample of what you could say. In real life, you might break this into smaller parts and repeat as needed. At any time, you could stop and listen to what your child has to say.
“I’d like to talk to you about something.”
“You may have noticed that I use different words when I am talking about people and not using their names. I might say, “She is walking the dog” instead of “Cheryl is walking the dog.” I also might use the words “they, she, he, or it” when talking about someone. (You can talk about neopronouns as well.)
Some people use the same words I do and some people don’t.
I think some teachers, other adults, and kids are still figuring out what words to use when talking about people. We used to have specific words and now we know those words are not enough.
Your teachers may want you to use certain words when speaking or writing, and they may have strong feelings about that. Know that when you come across those strong feelings, they have nothing to do with you.
It’s okay to use the words your teacher wants you to use when you’re at school. If you don’t want to use the words the teacher wants, though, let me know. I can help explain that to your teacher.
What do you think?
[At end of discussion] I’m glad we talked about this. We can talk about it again. Whenever you have a question or run into a problem about it, please let me know.
Note: You can check in with your child at different times of the year and revisit this topic.
Modeling Gender Equity | Words That Identify Gender | Handling Disagreements With Life Partner | Benefits of Not Emphasizing Gender | Keeping Gender in the Background | How Critical to Knowing Someone Is Biological Sex or Gender? | Overcoming Uncomfortable Discussions About Reproductive Parts | Handling Stereotypical Behaviours | Handling “Be a Man” Directives Towards Son | Handling “Smile” or “Hug Me” Directives Towards Daughter | Suggest to P.E. Teacher Not to Divide Teams By Gender | Explaining Why Girls and Women in Children’s Books Have Long Hair | Using Other Adjectives When Praising Your Child | Handling Pronouns for Toddlers | Handing Pronouns for Younger School-Age Children | Handing Pronouns for Older School-Age Children
